Saturday, June 6 7:00 pm PT: A Frankenstein monster of outcast ProElite talent, slightly irritating
182 lb. fights, and two Hammer House alum that never fail to
disappoint, Strikeforce's live broadcast from St. Louis begins at 10 p.m. ET. Keep refreshing for updates and highly
subjective commentary.
10:00 p.m. ET -- "The following is a presentation of Showtime Sports."
Hey, it's a sport now? Excellent.
10:01 p.m. ET -- In the promo reel intro, a massively obese man
performs a Superman punch. The shaking of adipose tissue is hypnotic.
Since when is Crisco considered a post-workout recovery drink?
10:02 p.m. ET -- Highly competent Gus Johnson is on the lead mic.
Color commentator Frank Shamrock tries to explain the awkwardness of
"catch weight" 182 lb. fights. He challenges Nick Diaz to a rematch at
178.95 lbs. divided by pi.
10:06 p.m. ET -- Kevin Randleman and Mike Whitehead are already in the ring. Apparently, no one felt their entrances were worth televising.
Expect cornerman Mark Coleman to scream instructions, and for
Randleman to do the exact opposite. Naturally, Randleman looks
shredded. Naturally.
10:10 p.m. ET -- Randleman is the most intimidating guy in the sport
immediately prior to the fight starting. Things tend to go downhill
from there. He and Whitehead touch up. Referee John McCarthy is
wearing an ear camera. Whitehead finds a home for several inside leg
kicks. He misses a high head kick. Randleman gets a clinch, but can't
get Whitehead down.
10:12 p.m. ET -- Randleman fights off a takedown attempt. Whitehead
tries again and gets it.
10:13 p.m. ET -- Whitehead works from side control. Randleman explodes
out from underneath. Shamrock and Johnson observe Randleman looks
exhausted. But he has abs! And that means he's in phenomenal,
fight-ready condition!
10:15 p.m. ET -- Round one ends with Whitehead on top. It was by no
means a blowout, but he should take the scorecards with ease.
10:16 p.m. ET -- Round two, and still no sign of McCam footage.
Whitehead gets a double-leg and realizes that, despite being
handicapped by oddsmakers for not having veins in his thighs, he
stands an excellent chance of winning this fight.
10:19 p.m. ET -- The crowd politely expresses their dissatisfaction
with the slowed pace of the fight: the beer cup was tastefully hurled
through the air and mostly empty. Whitehead gets full mount, but
Randleman gets out. The two stand and breathe at one another.
10:21 p.m. ET -- Johnson observes a weary Randleman is 37. "But I'm
36!" Shamrock says. In fight years, he's more like 63.
10:23 p.m. ET -- Round three: Randleman lands a nice shot. Coleman
shouts encouragement, which sounds like, "[inaudible growl], Kev!"
Randleman lands a huge shot that drops Whitehead, but Kevin is unable
to finish with hammerfists. They're back standing. Third wheel Mauro
Ranallo makes the inevitable mention of Randleman dropping Fedor
Emelianenko on his head. That one time. You remember.
10:26 p.m. ET -- Remembering that Randleman's submission defense
consists of biceps curls, Whitehead tries a kimura from side control.
10:28 p.m. ET -- Randleman gets up. Both men are very tired. Whitehead lands a nice right hook. Randleman missed a left that would've knocked an eyeball out. Fight's over. Likely decision for Whitehead.
10:30 p.m. ET -- 29-28 across the board for Whitehead. Whitehead
nailed six takedowns total to Randleman's one. A frustrated Randleman
rips a spectator in half, then exits the arena.
10:32 p.m. ET -- A half-dozen fighters are shown ringside, but only
Fedor Emelianenko gets a crowd reaction. If Missourians know this guy,
I've been seriously underestimating Affliction's market share. Tim
Sylvia, who fights Ray Mercer in one week, looks to be flirting with
300 lbs. The guy seems intent on playing out "Requiem for a
Heavyweight."
10:33 p.m. ET -- Phil Baroni and Joe Riggs are due up. Riggs says he
used to watch Baroni fight while he was in seventh grade. That makes
me feel as old as it would Phil.
10:36 pm. ET -- Baroni is in amazing competition shape. If he hits a
double-biceps pose while simultaneously flexing the latissimus dorsi,
it could be over quickly.
10:38 p.m. ET -- Shamrock comments that Riggs' 5'11" frame could be
trouble for the shorter Baroni. Ranallo points out that it's Baroni
who has the 1" reach advantage. And that just quiets Frank right down.
10:40 p.m. ET -- Round one: Riggs tosses Baroni down. He works a
rear-naked choke. Back mount to mount to side control--Riggs is not
encountering a lot of resistance here.
10:44 pm. ET -- Riggs continues the control, but hasn't mounted much
of an offense yet. He's too busy trying to contain a squirming Baroni.
10:45 p.m. ET -- McCarthy stands them up after Baroni can't do
anything from within Riggs' guard. Riggs is working hard for an ankle
pick. End of the round. Riggs via control. And not needing as much
oxygen.
10:46 pm. ET -- Two: Riggs lands another takedown. Then Baroni lands a
takedown. Baroni has expended a lot of energy fighting off shots.
10:50 p.m. ET -- Baroni back inside Riggs' guard. Several months'
worth of sh-t talking weighs heavily on both men's minds.
10:51 p.m. ET -- End of round two. Riggs with damage and a decent
submission attempt.
10:53 p.m. ET -- Riggs lands a knee to Baroni's midsection that
freezes him. Baroni looks like he's fighting in a sauna.
10:55 p.m. ET -- Riggs is cautious about overcommitting, but Baroni
is pretty well cooked. Shamrock observes that Baroni's lack of body
fat means he has no energy stores to draw from. I'm not sure if that's
right, but it sure sounds good.
10:58 p.m. ET -- Fight's over. Decision for Riggs.
11:00 p.m. ET -- The official word is 30-27 in favor of Riggs. The day
Baroni comes in with some love handles is the day I probably bet on
him. Johnson gets Riggs' thoughts on the fight. "I broke both of my
hands," he says.
11:04 p.m. ET -- Gina Carano vs. Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos and Josh
Thomson vs. Gilbert Melendez are announced for August 15. "Carpenter
and dentist -- they went at it tooth and nail!" Ranallo says of their
first fight. I immediately switch to the second audio program. "Peso
ligero titulo!" Ranallo says. Much better.
11:09 p.m. ET -- Nick Diaz and Scott Smith exchange words. If Diaz can
feed Smith some body shots and slow him down a bit, he can stay inside
without fear of being decapitated.
11:11 p.m. ET -- The reappearance of the creepy, skinless animated
models to display technique with. Smith's "keys to winning the fight"
appear to include summoning Pinhead.
11:13 p.m. ET -- Diaz enters the arena. From a script, Shamrock says
that Diaz "lacks KO power." An interesting observation.
11:16 p.m. ET -- They do not touch gloves. Smith may fear a contact
high. Round one: Diaz is already taunting him. Smith bullies him
against the cage. Diaz sticks his chin way out and eggs Smith to clock
him. Diaz lands some very unorthodox punches that seem to land fingers
first. Smith is looking lost.
11:20 p.m. ET -- Smith lands a stiff right to Diaz's chin, but it
doesn't rock Diaz in the slightest. 3:00 in and Diaz is becoming a
real problem in this division.
11:21 p.m ET -- Diaz eats another power punch. His middleweight chin
is solid. Smith takes him down, but I'm not sure that's a good thing.
11:23 p.m ET -- Diaz gets a trip takedown just as the round expires.
Best round of the night thus far.
11:24 p.m. ET -- Smith tries a suplex. Probably not going to happen.
Diaz lands a nice combination, including a body shot that has Smith
doubled over. The punches just don't stop coming. Smith looks damaged.
Not stripper-damaged, but damaged-damaged.
11:26 p.m. ET -- Smith is hanging in because that's what he does, but
it's looking grim. He tries tying up Diaz to get a breather.
11:27 p.m. ET -- Poppopoppoppoppoppop. Smith looks inebriated. He
falls down just as the round expires.
11:30 p.m. ET - Round three: Diaz comes out swinging. Smith is trying
to land a big shot, but Diaz sees them coming. As if things weren't
bad enough, Smith is now on the ground with Diaz on his back. Smith
taps to a choke. Masterful performance by Diaz.
11:33 p.m. ET -- Johnson announces they've set aside a half-hour block
for Diaz's post-fight interview. A question about securing the choke
somehow turns into Diaz talking about free trade and open borders.
11:36 p.m. ET -- Andrei Arlovski vs. Brett Rogers is in the queue. It
should be a fun two minutes.
11:38 p.m ET -- "Brett Rogers? (Chuckle.) He tough guy." Arlovski may
realize this is his fight to lose. Rogers hits hard, but there's a
Butterbean's worth of talent disparity here. It's worth mentioning
that Arlovski is stepping in for Alistair Overeem, who injured his
hand during a dispute over a coin-operated lavatory in Holland. It's
also worth noting that maybe you should let Overeem pee wherever he
wants.
11:45 p.m. ET -- Arlovski is sporting an evenly trimmed Just for Men
beard and a buzzcut. He only has time for the bare minimum grooming
now, which is a good sign.
11:46 p.m. ET -- Round one. McCarthy appears to be making up for lost
time by reffing his fourth fight in a row.
11:46 p.m. ET -- And it's already over. Rogers touches Arlovski's chin
and drops him. There will be some debate about an early stoppage, but
Arlovski was out. I blinked, and it was over. First time that
literally happened.
11:51 p.m. ET -- Rogers expresses frustration at not being respected.
I've been behind you from day one, buddy.
11:52 p.m. ET -- Fedor smiles from ringside. These silly mens who
thinks they have chances. Is no true.
11:54 p.m. ET -- Ranallo interviews Emelianenko. None of the questions
or answers would surprise you.
11:55 p.m ET -- Okay, maybe one: "Brett Rogers knocked Arlovski out
faster than you. What do you think about that?" Ranallo can now turn
his head a full 360 degrees.
Midnight ET -- Main event: tactician Jake Shields vs. caveman Robbie
Lawler. Shields is the better all-around fighter, but Lawler can
impose his one dimension. You see how surgical I've been with my
predictions already.
12:06 a.m. ET -- Lawler enters looking slightly sleepy. Of Lawler's
quiet demeanor, "There's another man living inside of this man,"
Shamrock says. I will attribute it to Ranallo anyway.
12:12 a.m. ET -- McCarthy's marathon officiating continues. Shields
appears nervous, but I might just be projecting. Shields goes for a
leg, but Lawler muscles out of it.
12:13 a.m. ET -- Shields locks a guillotine. Lawler considers slamming
him, but decides he's had enough and taps. Surprising win for Shields.
Matt Hughes--who's in Lawler's corner--looks depressed.
12:19 a.m. ET -- Shields calls out Cung Le, who is slowly morphing
into Don Wilson. An interim title seems inevitable at this point. And
that's all. Mauro Ranallo says, "Buenas noches."
Saturday, June 6 6:46 pm PT: Great fights always come down to a series of questions: Are skills up to speed? Does age/power/speed trump explosiveness/skill/experience? And can the wearing of Speedos be a commission-mandated infraction punishable by fine?
Five queries that need an answer for this weekend’s WEC and Strikeforce events:
Can Arlovski’s chin hold up to Rogers?
Diligence under boxing trainer Freddie Roach has created two very dangerous hands for Andrei Arlovski: Unfortunately, they’re sandwiching one very suspect jaw.
Of Arlovski’s six losses, all but one ended with him lit up like a holiday porch: Against Fedor Emelianenko, he was knocked into something resembling clinical death. And Rogers has power in his hands.
Counterpoint? Arlovski has only two KO losses in the past seven years, and one came against Emelianenko when he was in mid-air and completely unable to transfer shock anywhere but his poor brain. His glass chin is double-paned at worst -- highly exaggerated. He’ll outbox Brett Rogers to devastating effect.
Is it time for Pulver to hang it up?
As Rocky Balboa proved, heavyweights keep their power indefinitely; light heavyweights enjoy the occasional genetic freak that can compete into their 40s. But lighter fighters get no breaks: speed disappears, the muscle was never there and there’s no forgiveness for slowed reflexes. We will never see a 44-year-old 145-pound champion.
Jens Pulver has lost five times in six bouts and appears to be hanging on only by the strength of his name recognition. Opponent Josh Grispi has terrorized Mark Hominick, Micah Miller and others in a strong bid for title contention. If he rolls right over Pulver -- in one of the most unforgiving divisions for the 30-plus set in the sport -- “Little Evil’s” clock is going to be ticking.
Can the WEC survive the Brown era?
The night he lost his featherweight title to Mike Thomas Brown -- upended and tossed to the canvas like Christmas socks -- Urijah Faber was endorsing No Fear energy drinks, chairing a contest to win a training session with him and doing the majority press for the event. He wasn’t just a WEC star: he was the WEC.
Now Faber and the promotion have a serious problem in Brown, a less marketable but possibly more talented athlete who derailed Faber’s pound-for-pound bid and may very well do the same thing Sunday. Already feeling the squeeze of redundant weight classes, the organization is counting on the appeal of Faber and 135-pound champion Miguel Torres to propel them into something other than modest basic cable success. Is that a viable prospect if Faber is second-best?
Is Randleman ready for a comeback?
There is nothing more frustrating than being a Kevin Randleman fan. The former OSU standout, who likely has more athletic talent in his right thigh than some entire divisions, has been the most perennially underachieving participant in the sport. He has one win in nearly four years of competition. He’s been racked by MRSA, accidents, and a host of health problems. He’ll follow a devastating win over Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic and a suplex-for-the-ages against Fedor Emelianenko with a loss to a nearly-crippled middleweight in Kazushi Sakuraba. He ignores the advice from his corner. He’s nearly 38 years old.
And now he’s fighting a credible wrestler and a better fighter in Mike Whitehead, a decade younger, who’s won 14 of his last 15 fights. Things do not look promising. But in his favor is the work put in under Xtreme Couture’s Shawn Tompkins, who may wind up directing Randleman in the ways of effective fighting.
Is Diaz really a middleweight?
Fighting as low as 160 pounds and weighing as much as 200 pounds -- presumably after a serious toke-and-Doritos session -- Nick Diaz is about to find out where he belongs. Opponent Scott Smith bears the ominous nickname of “Hands of Steel” and stood fist-to-face against some of the hardest hitters in the division. He’s not an easy guy to back up, much less put away. Diaz has refuted criticisms that he’s not a power puncher. If he can stagger Smith, he’ll never have to argue the point again.
Saturday, June 6 3:45 pm PT: Some fighters have more to lose than money. This weekend’s biggest risk-takers:
Nick Diaz (Strikeforce) A win against Scott Smith validates a move to middleweight and leads to potentially bigger, CBS-fueled paydays against the likes of Robbie Lawler or -- even better -- Cung Le; a loss smothers memory of the win over Frank Shamrock and could send him back to a less profitable welterweight division.
Andrei Arlovski (Strikeforce) There’s no upside to bringing it against a game newcomer. If he beats Brett Rogers, he damn well should have. And if he doesn’t, he’ll be dinging his reputation as heavyweight royalty.
Phil Baroni (Strikeforce) A famously uneven career has been updated with three straight wins at 170 pounds. If he can’t beat journeyman Joe Riggs, the only move left is to harvest some organs and make 155.
Urijah Faber (WEC) Could wind up in a seriously awkward gatekeeper position if he can’t get a fight going with Mike Brown.
Saturday, June 6 2:26 pm PT: Showtime-deprived readers can visit here beginning at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT tonight for live, frequently derogatory coverage of Strikeforce’s
biggest show ever, highlighted by two intriguing headlining bouts:
Jake Shields vs. Robbie Lawler and Nick Diaz vs. his own urine sample.
Saturday, June 6 1:46 pm PT: Airing live on Showtime tonight from the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Strikeforce’s second show following its acquisition of ProElite is among the strongest in the promotion’s history: two former UFC heavyweight champions, two intriguing catch-weight bouts and one solid grudge match -- all dependent on the assumption Missouri has electricity. Hope someone confirmed that.
Print out this guide to the evening’s festivities and keep it handy in case you need to look like a complete tool.
What: Strikeforce: Lawler vs. Shields
When: Showtime, 10 p.m. ET (play-by-play of prelims starts at 7:45 p.m. ET on Sherdog)
Why You Should Care: Because complete talent Jake Shields, bored with the humdrum welterweight opposition outside of the UFC, is set to take on anvil-fisted Robbie Lawler in a 182-pound catch-weight bout; because Nick Diaz’s hand speed and punches-in-bunches style is a good match for Scott Smith’s iron constitution and power; because Andrei Arlovski is the best boxer in mixed martial arts at the moment, bringing technique and discipline to a dimension of the sport that sorely needs it; and because Phil Baroni and Joe Riggsreally, truly don’t like each other.
Fight of the Night: A dead heat between Diaz/Smith and Arlovski/Brett Rogers, two bouts predestined to end with someone taking their post-fight recovery drink through a straw.
Sleeper Fight of the Night: Undefeated undercarders Jesse Finney vs. Josh Bumgarner. Finney, an alum of Chuck Norris’ World Combat League, went 23-0 as a pro kickboxer. Expect lots of kicking.
Pre-Emptive Complaint: Strikeforce is charging $24.95 for the same surveillance-camera locker room access that the UFC distributes for free. Since when does advertising cost consumers money?
Hype Quote of the Show: “I’m on edge right now. Don’t cross me now because I haven’t had sex in four weeks and I’m on a diet. I’m ready to kill someone. This is going to be a war and I’m in total fight mode. I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now. Next question.” -- Phil Baroni
Saturday, June 6 12:52 am PT: With Fedor Emelianenko sitting ringside and Gegard Mousasi spending time in the corner of Team Turkey, M-1 held its fifth challenge Saturday night. Three team matches filled the 15-fight bill highlighted by the battle between undefeated teams Finland and USA East.
The tussle started at lightweight between Renato Migliaccio for Team USA East and Niko Puhakka for Team Finland. Migliaccio, a BJJ black belt under Renzo and Ryan Gracie, overwhelmed Puhakka from the bell with his ground acumen. Late in the first frame Puhakka couldn’t fight off an armbar attempt from Migliaccio and was forced to tap at the 4:18 mark.
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